My friend Meredith Resnick has just published a very helpful book about coping with the narcissists in your life. Surviving the Narcissist is a 30 day plan for how to get over or cope with this relationship in your life. I found this book to be eye-opening. It might just be the little nudge you need to solve some relationship problems! I had a chance to ask Meredith some questions about narcissism:

What is a narcissist?

Someone who lacks empathy, who is grandiose, who takes advantage of others, those are hallmarks traits of a narcissist. However,  narcissists can also be very charming, often taking on the personality of the person from whom they want approval. They do this because they themselves feel that there is nothing inside them–in other words, that they are nothing–and so instead of drawing on internal strengths, they take from others, and relegate to the other person their own feeling of emptiness and nothingness. This is called projection. (By the way, the emptiness or nothingness I’m referring to in narcissism is not the same as what is discussed in Buddhism.)

Why is it so hard to get over a narcissist?

Denial is a big part, and understandably so. The narcissistic person is wounded, however, they relegate this wound to the other person. Without realizing it, the other person starts to behave as the wounded one, something the narcissist needs to feel — momentarily — whole. But as the other person wakes up, the narcissist then senses that the other person might be getting a clue as to what’s going on, and then becomes needy and apologietic. The pattern repeats and morphs. All this is unconscious, of course, adding to the crazy-making. My first book, Narcissism: Surviving the Self-Involved goes into more detail about these and other dynamics. My new book, Surviving the Narcissist: 30 Days of Recovery, helps in the healing.

My friend Meredith Resnick has just published a very helpful book about coping with the narcissists in your life. Surviving the Narcissist is a 30 day plan for how to get over or cope with this relationship in your life. I found this book to be eye-opening. It might just be the little nudge you … Read more →

Today I’m announcing the publication of my Kindle book, The Gluten-Free Guide to Travel. To the point (28 pp) and nicely priced, this is a complete guide to traveling on a gluten-free diet, whether you are celiac, gluten intolerant, or simply choose not to eat gluten. Based on my travels in the US and abroad, I’m offering tips on how to find great gluten-free meals, what to pack, how to get help finding food, how to communicate your diet in other countries, and tips about things such as cruises, tours, airplane food, and road trips.  I also discuss how to manage traveling with gluten eaters. Traveling gluten-free is easier than ever before, so it’s time to read this ebook and hit the road!

Today I’m announcing the publication of my Kindle book, The Gluten-Free Guide to Travel. To the point (28 pp) and nicely priced, this is a complete guide to traveling on a gluten-free diet, whether you are celiac, gluten intolerant, or simply choose not to eat gluten. Based on my travels in the US and abroad, … Read more →

Recently the lamp shades in my house were looking a little dusty and a few swipes with a cleaning cloth did no good. The best way to clean a lamp shade is with a clean, dry paint brush! Brush down, going all around the lamp. You’ll be surprised by how much dust comes off! You should never vacuum your lamp shades – the suction will damage the fabric and if you have a pleated shade it is unlikely you’ll get all the dirt. If you have stains on your lamp shade, try the Magic Eraser.

Recently the lamp shades in my house were looking a little dusty and a few swipes with a cleaning cloth did no good. The best way to clean a lamp shade is with a clean, dry paint brush! Brush down, going all around the lamp. You’ll be surprised by how much dust comes off! You … Read more →

Rug

Dresser with the planter

Our daughter moved out this summer to attend medical school. While we’re so lucky that she has remained in the same area, we miss her terribly. But that hasn’t stopped me from doing cartwheels about all the added space in my house (in the pantry! In the bathroom! In the fridge! In the coat closet!) and from having fun decorating her old room. She took her furniture with her. Fortunately, I’ve been ready for this for years:) When my grandmother passed away, I inherited the bedroom set that was hers when she got married in the early 1930s. When I was a kid, this set was in her spare room and was the room I slept in when I stayed with her (which was often). I took not only the bedroom set, but the coverlet and the bedside lamp. It’s all been waiting.

Lamp with the new shade and the Spode vases

After the big move happened, I spent three days painting the room (goodbye pink, green, and sparkly white stripes) and crying the entire time. I think my tears mixed with the paint. But it was therapeutic. We cleaned out the closet (she had left behind a few things) and then my husband and son moved the furniture in. It was like meeting an old friend. When I pulled open one of the drawers, I recognized the smell and it made me feel connected to my grandmother. My husband then moved his desk into one corner of the room (and out of our bedroom which freed up a whole corner in there for me to go nuts with – I might have bought a curio cabinet to go there) but the rest of the room was mine for the decorating. I was giddy. It has been years since I

Vanity with chamber pot

decorated a room from the ground up, so to speak.

The furniture completely shaped my plans – whatever I did needed to look good with it. I decided to start with a rug and happened upon this cute (and very modern) rug at HomeGoods. This gave me my color palette – pale blue and white. I found some beautiful sheers at HomeGoods also for the windows and used the existing curtain rods my daughter had picked out in her princess stage. I had the bedside lamp, but I had forgotten it was a converted milk glass oil lamp. I love the milk glass but was not a fan of the glass chimney or the ancient shade with pom poms on it. I took them both off and after much searching, found a plain little shade that clipped onto the bulb. The lamp was transformed into something cute.

I also bought an Oriental lamp at Marshall’s that were marked down (you can see the red clearance tag is still on it in this photo!). This is where I got stuck though. I said goodbye the old matelasse coverlet that was in the room when I was a girl (it was now old and threadbare). I needed new bedding, but the rug really limited my choices. After ordering, chasing down, and buying 5 different bedding sets, I finally settled on this set from Bed Bath and Beyond which was nicely priced. I stumbled on a round throw pillow that was exactly the right color then I added a white throw pillow.

Bed and bedding

Accessorizing was easy. I did some in-home shopping. I brought in a blue Oriental planter that was my mother-in-law’s, a chamber pot that was also hers, added a couple plants, some photos and dug out a set of Spode vases my mother-in-law had gifted me with once. It was all the right colors. I had one challenge left. I love the sheers, but I like to have some kind of window topper. Finding a valance was not working – the blue color is so hard to match. Then I had a moment of pure genius. I pulled out the stack of linen embroidered handkerchiefs that belonged to my two grandmothers and my mother-in-law and draped them over the top. I had exactly enough for both windows and it was fast, easy, and cheap. And I think it looks pretty cute. My daughter is calling this the old lady room, but even though the furniture is very old, I think I spiffed it up with some modern accessories and linens.

Handkerchief valance (taken before I ironed them!)

And I’m already starting to slowly take over the dresser drawers and closet space….

Our daughter moved out this summer to attend medical school. While we’re so lucky that she has remained in the same area, we miss her terribly. But that hasn’t stopped me from doing cartwheels about all the added space in my house (in the pantry! In the bathroom! In the fridge! In the coat closet!) … Read more →

The worst thing to happen to me this year was the K cup coffee machine we bought. Ok, it wasn’t the worst thing, but it got me hooked. We discovered Snapple Peach Iced Tea K Cups. I rarely drink anything but water, but I was seduced by these. First of all, the K cups are just so darn cute. And making that machine go is like playing with a toy. And the peach iced tea that comes out is just so magical. We started buying lots of boxes of it. Not cheap! This also meant we were throwing out a lot of those cute little K cups once they were empty. <insert guilt> The machine we bought to primarily use for serving coffee to guests had become a PROBLEM. I read the label of the peach iced tea and was not happy to see it had artificial sweeteners. Not good. So I decided to just make my own. It was a huge hit. The husband and son are just guzzling it by the gallon here so I’m making batches of it all the time. Now that I’ve got the routine down pat, I thought I would share it. What’s great about this is that you can play with the recipe and use any kind of tea (any flavor as well as decaf or regular) and any kind of fruit nectar to switch up the flavors. I buy the fruit nectar at my grocery store in the aisle with the Goya brand products and Hispanic products. They have peach, pineapple, mango and passion fruit flavors and they come in tall cardboard cartons. You can use loose tea if you prefer and then just pour the heated tea through a fine sieve when pouring into the pitcher. Here’s the insanely easy recipe. If you want your iced tea really strong, add more tea to the recipe.

10 cups water

1 cup sugar

8 tea bags (I have been using 3 green tea and 5 Irish breakfast tea, because I have a lot of these, but other flavors I’ve tried have been great as well)

1 1/2 cups fruit nectar (I’ve been using half peach and half mango)

Pour the water and sugar in a large pot and turn it on high. Pull the tags off the tea bags and put the bags in the water. Heat the water until it is about to boil (it’s fine if it starts to boil), stirring occasionally. Turn the heat off and let it steep for about 5 minutes more, stirring occasionally. Pour the fruit nectar into a gallon sized pitcher. Add the water. Stir. Allow to cool to room temperature then refrigerate. Serve cold, over ice. Before you blink it will be gone.

The worst thing to happen to me this year was the K cup coffee machine we bought. Ok, it wasn’t the worst thing, but it got me hooked. We discovered Snapple Peach Iced Tea K Cups. I rarely drink anything but water, but I was seduced by these. First of all, the K cups are … Read more →

We are deep into corn season here in western NY state. All the farm stands are selling it. I love corn on the cob, but after a few weeks I start to look for other ways to use it. One problem I have is I tend to make too much corn on the cob so we have leftovers. This recipe works with fresh, uncooked corn or corn that has been cooked. I really loved these little fritters. They were crunchy with some sweetness. If you want to jazz it up, switch out the cheese for something else (I think a pepper jack would be fun) or eliminate the cheese and add some curry powder.

2 eggs

1/4 cup flour (I used gluten-free)

1/4 tsp salt

pepper to taste

the green top of a scallion

2 tbsp Parmesan cheese

2 cups corn, cut off the cob

Pulse the ingredients in a food processor until combined. Heat 2 tbsp olive oil in a skillet over medium high heat and make the fritters. You can make these the size of small pancakes or just drop a heaping tablespoon of batter. Flip them when they are brown on the bottom and cook until the second side is done and the fritters are set.

We are deep into corn season here in western NY state. All the farm stands are selling it. I love corn on the cob, but after a few weeks I start to look for other ways to use it. One problem I have is I tend to make too much corn on the cob so … Read more →

Allow me to be totally honest. Kale and quinoa generally do not excite me. I do not like massaged kale salads. Kale chips are ok but there’s other stuff I’d rather eat. Quinoa is just a weird substitute for rice in my book. Given the choice, I’d rather have rice.

Recently we were embroiled in moving my daughter out of the house into her new apartment – something that took far too long, far too many trips downtown, and too many late nights. I managed to actually make dinner for the family only twice during the whole two week moving nightmare. Other nights were an every man for himself situation when we stumbled home at 9 pm and randomly ate microwave baked potatoes and pizza made in the toaster oven on pita bread. One night we stopped at the grocery store to each grab something we could reheat when we got home. I ended up grabbing kale and quinoa patties from the prepared foods section. And folks, they were really good. They didn’t taste like kale and they didn’t taste like quinoa. They were a little spicy and a little crunchy and deeply satisfying. I loved them. So I decided I had to figure out how to make them myself. On another crazy day I put together this recipe and made them in the afternoon. We reheated them in a skillet for dinner. Totally delicious. If I bring home another batch of kale from the CSA, I’m going to make a big batch and freeze them. Here’s the recipe I came up with:

1 cup quinoa

2 cups vegetable broth

1 medium onion, chopped (I used an uncured onion from the CSA)

olive oil

2 cloves garlic, chopped

4 packed cups kale, ribs removed

salt and pepper to taste

2 tbsp fresh chives

3 eggs

3/4 cup breadcrumbs (I used gluten free)

1/2 cup Parmesan cheese

Bring the vegetable broth to a boil in a pot over high heat. Stir in the quinoa, lower the heat to low and cover, allowing it to simmer about 20 minutes, or until all the liquid is absorbed. Remove from heat and fluff with a fork.

Cook the onion in 2 tbsp olive oil in a skillet over medium high heat until it is translucent. Add garlic and cook for 1-2 minutes.

Boil a pot of water and add the kale, cooking about 5 minutes until it is tender. Drain and put in a food processor.

Add the onion and garlic mixture to the kale and add salt and pepper to taste. Add chives. Process until the mixture is finely chopped.

Dump the mixture into a bowl and stir in cooked quinoa, eggs, breadcrumbs, and Parmesan cheese.

Wipe out the skillet used for the onions and add 2 tbsp olive oil and heat over medium high heat. Using a self-cleaning ice cream scoop (the kind you squeeze and a metal bar swipes the ice cream out), place scoops of the mixture in the pan, several inches apart, gently pressing down on the tops to flatten slightly. Cook until they are browned and crispy on the bottom and flip, flattening slightly with the spatula, cooking until the other side is also browned and crispy and they are cooked through. They need to cook about 2-3 minutes a side. You will need to make several batches, depending on the size of your skillet. The recipe makes about 10-12 patties.

They reheated easily in a hot skillet and we ate them plain, but they would also be good served with tzatziki sauce, plain yogurt, sour cream, or with some sharp cheddar cheese or Swiss melted on top of them, possibly with some sliced mushrooms on top.

Allow me to be totally honest. Kale and quinoa generally do not excite me. I do not like massaged kale salads. Kale chips are ok but there’s other stuff I’d rather eat. Quinoa is just a weird substitute for rice in my book. Given the choice, I’d rather have rice. Recently we were embroiled in … Read more →

I’m in love with this easy to make salad. And I’m doubly in love with it because it requires very little cooking and the ingredients were sent out with the husband to the grill.

2 scallions

6 medium potatoes

1/2 cup lemon olive oil

1 tsp lemon juice

1/2 tsp sugar

fresh herbs, chopped

salt and pepper

Rub the scallions with olive oil and char them on the grill until they soften and have some nice char marks. Slice into 1/2 inch pieces and set aside. Cut the potatoes into quarters and parboil until they are crisp tender. Rub them with olive oil and salt and pepper them and grill them, cut sides down, until they get some char marks and are soft all the way through (5-10 minutes). Whisk the oil, lemon juice, sugar, salt and pepper to taste and whatever fresh herbs you have on had (I used chives, rosemary, thyme and parsley). Mix the scallions with the potatoes and pour the oil mixture on top, tossing to coat. Serve warm. If you have leftovers, they taste better reheated than cold. If you don’t have lemon olive oil, use regular and add more lemon juice until the dressing tastes like a vinaigrette.

I’m in love with this easy to make salad. And I’m doubly in love with it because it requires very little cooking and the ingredients were sent out with the husband to the grill. 2 scallions 6 medium potatoes 1/2 cup lemon olive oil 1 tsp lemon juice 1/2 tsp sugar fresh herbs, chopped salt … Read more →

When my family planned a summer trip to South Dakota and Wyoming, I did not expect to bring a lot home to satisfy my local, artisan collecting needs. I admit, after two summer vacations in Europe, I was feeling a bit smug and jaded. However, as a dedicated travel shopper, I was determined to snag some treasures that would serve as beautiful mementos of our trip. I was surprised not only by the great shopping, but also by how much I loved this area. The South Dakota prairie, the Black Hills, the Badlands, the open spaces of Wyoming, the stunning and overwhelming beauty of Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons, and the charm of Jackson Hole made this one of the most visually memorable trips we’ve ever taken. And I happily filled my suitcase with lovely treasures from the area.

Prairie Edge Trading Company

South Dakota

Rapid City has a lovely downtown area, with bronze, life-size statues of presidents on the corners. There are several galleries in this main area, but the place to not miss is Prairie Edge Trading Company. This huge store showcases beautiful (and often pricey) native American art and crafts. You can invest in some high quality native arts here if

you have the bank account for it. If your budget is limited, there are still purchases to be made. I found a bookmark that is like a mini-Navajo rug. There are also t-shirts

Bookmarks left to right: Grand Teton, pressed flowers of Grand Teton, buffalo, Navajo woven, and Yellowstone

and less pricey souvenirs, jewelry and home goods.

The main tourist towns in the Black Hills are Keystone and Hill City. If you’re looking for t-shirts, head to Keystone. That’s about all you will find there. It’s a fun town to walk through and feels very old West, but it’s a cheap souvenir row. Hill City, on the other hand, will keep you busy for an afternoon. Main Street is where the shopping is located.  Sandy Swallow gallery was my favorite shop. I was surprised at how much time we spent in this tiny little town. There are numerous affordable galleries that sell a wide range of paintings, prints, pottery, jewelry, and decorative items.

Aspen and antlers basket

We brought home an original painting of the Badlands, a basket made of aspen and antlers (this was priced very nicely in comparison to similar items I saw during the trip), and some pottery made with horsehair. There is one shop on the strip selling Black Hills gold, but I recommend you hold off on buying it (see next paragraph). There is a native crafts gallery here (Cedarfeathers), but I was unimpressed with its offerings. It’s worth noting

Badlands painting from Hill City

that the only public restroom in town is in the real estate office.

Horsehair vase, buffalo vase and Sioux pottery

I generally stay away from gift shops at attractions, unless I’m looking for a magnet for my collection (I buy

Large Navajo sheep. Center is from Crazy Horse, and right is Zuni-made.

one everywhere I go), but on this trip I was surprised by the excellent quality of attached gift shops in the area. We went to Reptile Gardens, between Rapid City and Mount Rushmore and I picked up a piece of Sioux pottery in their shop (they had a nice selection here, but I also saw the same items in most of the gift shops in the area). Also nearby is Christmas Village, where we bought a few ornaments. This isn’t the kind of Christmas store I dream of (lots of beautiful glass ornaments or unique handcrafted

Black HIlls gold

items), but it’s worth a stop since they just have so many things.  The Crazy Horse Monument has a huge and very well done museum of Native American art, crafts, and household items and it also has a large gift shop of native-made items with lots of jewelry and pottery. I bought native-made sheep (for my sheep collection) here. The Mount Rushmore gift shop is hands down the best place to buy Black Hills gold in the area (I was surprised by this!). They have a large selection and sell a lot of

Custer State Park necklace

Landstrom’s which is the most recognized name. My daughter and I each bought some pieces here. There’s not much else worth buying in that shop other than t-shirts though. Another surprisingly great gift shop is the Custer State Park Game Lodge gift shop. We had dinner here (wonderful) and spent some time in this tiny little shop. I bought a very unique necklace that has no clasp and hooks together as part of the design of the necklace in front. My daughter found a candle and t-shirt here.

If you’re going to the Badlands, you’ll want to go to Wall Drug, which is right outside the park. This crazy attraction began as

Wall Drug

a drugstore that advertised across the state on highway signs that it had free ice water. It exploded in growth and is now a complex of shops, a restaurant, and even an outdoor play

Copper bowl from Wall Drug

area. There are a few other shops in Wall, but nothing I liked. Wall Drug itself is the very definition of a tourist trap, but it’s one of those places you just have to go so you can say you’ve been there. Most of its wares are t-shirts and cheap souvenirs, but there is one wonderful little arts and crafts shop inside Wall Drug where I bought a stunning bowl made with copper and ogled some beautiful baskets and pottery. Unfortunately, there is not a lot to be bought at the Badlands itself. There is a small gift shop, but it was nothing great. I did make one purchase here which I am patting myself on the back about. At least once a day during our trip I saw little silver boxes with turquoise stones set in their lids. I passed them up several times because they are made in

My inauthentic silver and turquoise box

Mexico and didn’t feel like an authentic souvenir. I just loved them though, so I gave in and bought one here. I ended up getting the best price (I checked the price every time I saw them after this!)

My biggest disappointment in South Dakota was De Smet, where we visited the Laura Ingalls Wilder historical sites (the surveyor’s house, the schoolhouse, and the Ingalls home). There is a tiny gift shop at the main site which mainly sells books and some doodads for kids. At the very least I was hoping for a bookmark and a cheap magnet for my collection but they did not sell these.

Irma Inn

Wyoming

Cody is one of the gateways to Yellowstone and we stopped here for a night. The shopping area of the town is rather small and centers around the historic Irma Hotel (built by Buffalo Bill Cody and named after his daughter). The hotel itself has a cramped gift shop that has a lot of clothing, but there are some nice shops surrounding the hotel on the main street. I didn’t buy anything here, but enjoyed browsing. A bit further away there is a very eclectic shop next to the Holiday Inn that is worth a peek. I promptly zoomed in on a native-made vase I loved that was only priced at $999. Needless to say, that didn’t come home with us.  The Buffalo Bill Center of the West is a must-see when in town and of course if you’re like me, you’ll go into the gift shop:) I only bought a magnet, but there were a lot of interesting things here – one thing that has gone into the museum of my mind (where I catalog all the things I should have bought but didn’t) were some really kitschy drinking glasses that had a vintage pattern on them showcasing Yellowstone. They were just the cutest.

West Yellowstone, Montana is another gateway to Yellowstone (and one that is much closer than Cody so I recommend it as your jumping off point). There are basically two

Native ring from West Yellowstone

streets of shops, laid out in an L (Yellowstone and Canyon). There was a lot of shopping to be done here, but fortunately I was up to the challenge. We bought a lot of t-shirts and some of the shops skewed toward the younger generation, making

Delicious huckleberry jam

my 20-something daughter right at home with some really stylish options. There are lots of huckleberry items to be found here – jam, candy, candles, syrup – so grab some to bring home (we buy jellies on almost every trip and this is probably the best one I’ve ever bought). One shop (on Canyon) sells tons of native-made jewelry and is definitely worth a stop. A small Christmas shop attached to a candy store is worth a look (also on Canyon). There wasn’t a single shop in town that sold affordable prints of paintings, which is something I’m always after. We went to the Wolf and Grizzly Center in town and they had a robust gift shop as well, which is worth a look.

Old Faithful tile

If you can tear yourself away from the natural beauty of Yellowstone (which is harder to do than you might think), there is some shopping to be done. I hit every gift shop in the park (I am nothing if not thorough). The first thing to know is that there are two types of shops. General Stores are located at each visitor center and hotel. These carry essentially the same merchandise in every single one and are focused on t-shirts and inexpensive souvenirs and also have a small grocery department. It’s definitely worth going in at least one of these, particularly if you want t-shirts. I did find a painted tile with an image of Old Faithful (for $8 and now that we’ve framed it, it looks like a very expensive piece of art) in the General store at the Old Faithful Inn, but this was the only thing I stumbled on in all of them that was unique and interesting. Each hotel also has an individual gift

Yellowstone artist-in-residence vase

shop that is smaller and more intimate. These are nicer for shopping and at the shop in Mammoth Springs I bought a pottery vase with an image of Yellowstone, painted by the artist in residence (if you visit a national park, Google the name of the park and “artist in residence” and you will find information about artists who are working and selling their art in the park). At another location I found a native-made sheep for my collection and an interesting wooden tree (made in Wisconsin, but I had to have it). Some of the hotels have photography for sale in their lobbies, but I’m usually interested in watercolor paintings, not photography.

Wooden tree from Yellowstone

Grand Teton tile

Admission to Grand Teton is included in your Yellowstone fee, so don’t miss it. This park was more stunning than I imagined and we thoroughly enjoyed it. There are gift shops at all the lodges here and they tend to be small, but are not to be missed. My favorite find was a bookmark made with pressed flowers of the park. I also picked up a tile with an image of aspen trees on it and family members found t-shirts. I brought home some notecards with beautiful

Jackson town square

watercolor paintings of the mountains. The Jenny Lake Lodge shop was the best shop we visited in the park.

I looked forward to getting to Jackson (sometimes called Jackson Hole) throughout our entire trip, certain that it held potential for great shopping. Jackson wasn’t what I was expecting.  The town itself reminded me of Santa Fe, fairly small and set up around a town square. And like Santa Fe, there wasn’t much to buy. Yes, there are galleries, but they sell $8000 original paintings. Not a single one sold prints at any price point. I was so frustrated to be in an area of

elk antler necklace

such natural beauty without any depictions of it to bring home. There are some funky shops in town that my daughter loved and she bought some inexpensive jewelry,

porcupine basket

Grand Teton painting

including a really cute silver elk antler necklace. A unique item to look for in this area is elk ivory – jewelry made from antlers the elk shed. We couldn’t find any we loved, but it would be a unique and fairly inexpensive

Glass tree

souvenir. I did find a tiny little native crafts shop in the basement of a building that sold antique baskets where I snagged a porcupine quill basket. I bought a very interesting and inexpensive vase at a candy shop. I was mostly

Cheap vase from Jackson

disappointed with the shopping until we saw a sign for an art show in Miller Park (it is held on two different weekends in July and August, so

glass platter

watch necklace

check for it if you are in the area). I brought home wonderful treasures from this art show, including my much sought after and elusive watercolor (I never did find one of Yellowstone, but was able to buy one of the Grand Tetons), a vase, a glass platter (very inexpensive and yet beautiful), a glass tree, and a

Necklace from the art show

necklace. My daughter bought a great necklace made out of old watch parts which is just gorgeous. This art show satisfied all of my shopping needs and I went home with suitcases brimming with mementos!

When my family planned a summer trip to South Dakota and Wyoming, I did not expect to bring a lot home to satisfy my local, artisan collecting needs. I admit, after two summer vacations in Europe, I was feeling a bit smug and jaded. However, as a dedicated travel shopper, I was determined to snag … Read more →

Fairmont Southampton

I’m a little stunned to return from our stay at the Fairmont Southampton in Bermuda and discover there is no daily free breakfast, afternoon tea, appetizer, and dessert being set out for me at home. There’s no private concierge down the hall. No heated outdoor pool and restaurant on the water just down the hill. No one is turning down my bed for

Lobby

me. Just a few days of special treatment on the Gold private concierge floor and I’m completely spoiled.

Choosing the Fairmont

We went to Bermuda for our 25th anniversary. We debated several hotels, but ultimately chose the Fairmont Southampton because of its location and amenities and it’s ability to cater to our dietary needs. The hotel is situated on a hill between the ocean and the harbor on a fairly narrow strip of land. You can see the gorgeous pink building from far out on the water.  The hotel was built in the 70s, but the lobby has an old world English feel to it with lots of dark wood, Oriental rugs, huge staircases, and a sense of history. The interior is extremely spacious with lots of nooks and crannies for sitting. There is a variety of shops on two different levels (and these were very well-stocked shops, with clothing, jewelry, and high quality gifts and art).

Hospitality area

Gold Concierge Floor

Since our airfare was free using Jetblue points, we splurged on our hotel room. June is a busy season in Bermuda (lots and lots of weddings, including a very large Indian wedding the first night we were there and several brides spotted throughout our stay) so the only room available at the Fairmont Southampton was on the Gold floor.  The Gold floor offers a private concierge on the floor and some wonderful amenities.  Bottled water was replenished in our room daily and we had twice daily maid service.

Also included was an amazing hospitality center. There was a stocked bar that is self-serve. Non-alcoholic drinks were free. Alcohol was on the honor system, with little receipts to fill out if you helped yourself. Snacks were available all day (nuts and dried fruit).  A free continental breakfast was also provided free. This included beverages, pastries and two hot items (we did not

Walk-in closet

partake and instead chose to splurge on the full buffet breakfast downstairs).  The hospitality center offered afternoon tea with sandwiches and pastries and sweets each afternoon. Then an early evening appetizer selection was offered with one plated hors d’oeuvre and cheeses, fruits, vegetables, dip, and chips. And just because you would want to really get your money’s worth, dessert was provided mid-evening as well.

Both my husband and myself are gluten intolerant and

one of the reasons we chose the Fairmont was because they have a lifestyle cuisine program, ensuring that guests with any type of diet can be catered to. We explained our dietary needs when making the reservation. When we checked in, the concierge noted it and said that at every food service in the hospitality center, there would be gluten free offerings for us (at no charge). And indeed there were. We had a bit of  a rocky start the first day and waited half an hour for the gluten-free selections to come up from the

Windows breakfast buffet

main kitchen, but after that the staff knew us and always had gluten-free selections kept just for us in their little behind the scenes kitchen. It was quite impressive  – they even had gluten-free scones.

The Room

Our room was beautiful and comfortable, with a king-size bed, sitting area, desk, bar, flat screen tv, double sinks, walk in closet, and an amazing balcony with a table and chairs that allowed us to soak up the view

Our balcony

from the 6th floor. Truly stunning and luxurious. The shower and toilet area felt a little dated and cramped. They could definitely do with some renovations there. Something other than a small standard hotel tub with shower curtain would be welcome. A walk-in shower with glass doors (or at least something that was not cramped and dark) would really complete the picture of luxury. We explored all of the hotel during our stay (and there is a lot to see!).  Although the hotel is not directly on the water (no crashing waves outside your window), it does have a lovely ocean view (or a harbor view from the other side). There are also a few rooms that have a mostly land view that includes the lighthouse.

Location Is Everything

Because of its location, you can go to the beach or the harbor by hopping on a hotel-run shuttle. I was a bit leery about having to ride a shuttle to the beach. It’s not far at all (maybe a 4 minute ride at most) but the hill is very steep and the road has switchbacks, so walking would be arduous and dangerous. We never waited more than 5 minutes for a shuttle. The shuttles are comfortable and air conditioned. Actually, I found I rather liked the door-to-door service of a shuttle – none of this hauling your beach bag down stairs and paths to get to the beach. The shuttle takes you directly there.

The Beach

The

Spa pool

private beach has many lounge chairs, even some with built-in canopies. There is a beach bar/snack bar (where apparently straws are not available – this made my traditional virgin strawberry daiquiri a little hard to consume) and a restaurant (the Ocean Club) at the beach. Towels are given out in stacks – no negotiating to get just one more as I’ve experienced at other resorts. You are given at least two per person and no one is scrutinizing how many you have and how many you return. The private beach was somewhat well-maintained. There were the usual issues with people claiming chairs for the day by leaving a single towel and no one seemed able to pick up their own garbage. The chairs tended to be lined up in rows at least three or four chairs deep, which meant you couldn’t be right by the water or away from the crowds. The brilliant part about this beach though is that if you don’t want to line up on the sand like sardines in a can, there is a path to Horseshoe Bay, which is the public beach next door. It is at least 1/4 mile crescent of perfect sand with lots of space. And if you keep walking, you’ll discover one hidden

Shuttle bus

cove after another – small private beaches that are yours for the taking. We enjoyed walking to the public beach and exploring the secret beaches with the dramatic scenery. Tennis courts are also located next to the beach and there was always a court available.

The Harbor

Take the shuttle in the opposite direction from the hotel and you come down to the harbor. Here there is the hotel’s most formal restaurant, The Waterlot (a steakhouse, which had excellent, over-the-top attentive service and amazing food), an outdoor waterfront bar, and a free ferry. Several times a day the ferry that is just for hotel guests shuttles across the harbor (it’s worth it for the views alone and it’s only about a 30 minute ride) to the sister property, the Fairmont Hamilton Princess. This hotel is located on the edge of  the main city of Hamilton and it’s a short walk to shops and restaurants and the city’s main harbor. Hotel guests can use the restaurants and facilities at either property.

We took the shuttle down to the harbor one evening for dinner and I was pleased to see they had a security guard at the shuttle stop, which was a bit dark and isolated.  The guard also assists guests in crossing the road to the ferry stop or restaurant.

The Pool

If you’d like to spend some time by the pool, there is a very large outdoor heated pool just off the lobby. The pool deck was spacious and comfortable and in addition to the usual loungers, they had some cute wicker cabana chairs that were almost like a little bed. This pool closes at 6:30 each evening but guests are then welcome to use the spa pool. One night the pool closed at 5 (it needed to be cleaned we were told) so they opened the spa pool earlier and we went and enjoyed it completely alone. A few afternoons later they closed half of the outdoor pool because there was a meeting on the balcony above it. This left only the shallow end of the pool and it was filled with splashing kids. We went to the spa and explained the situation and they let us in there early again. The spa pool is indoors but has lots of windows and a waterfall. It was virtually empty each time we visited. Two outdoor hot tubs were also available here. It was tranquil and lovely.

Service

Overall we were very pleased with the service at the hotel. Of particular note is the front door staff who go out of their way to be friendly, engaging, and convivial. They were hands down the best I have ever encountered. The

Fairmont Hamilton Princess, sister property

doormen always spoke to us and commented on where we were going and asked how our outing was when we returned. The baggage service was also excellent – prompt and friendly. There were always taxis waiting. The food service staff at the hospitality center went out of their way to be accommodating and thoughtful to us. The wait staff at the hotel restaurants were excellent. We dined at the Ocean Club (where there were some wonderful fish selections and lovely outdoor dining overlooking the beach) and at the Waterlot, as well as having the breakfast buffet at Windows each morning (the buffet was excellent with a large selection and attentive service). Everyone understood our needs as gluten-free diners and were very helpful to us. The Waterlot even offered us a special dessert and had the staff sign a card for us when they discovered it was our anniversary. No tipping

Private beach

is required with the hotel staff (and gratuities are automatically included on restaurant bills). The bellman who brought our bags walked away when he saw my husband reach into his pocket. Doormen did not expect a tip.

Problems

The criticisms I have are minuscule. When we made our reservations, the hotel suggested we pay for a private shuttle to bring us to the hotel. They said it was less expensive than a taxi (and it was). We were led to believe it was run by the hotel and they told us someone would greet us with a sign with our name on it. We emerged from the airport to see lots of signs, but none with our name. We waited. Nothing. We then called the hotel and were put on hold. Eventually we asked a gentleman at a car service stand and apparently our reservation was with them. Some better instructions would have saved us about half an hour of confusion.

The hotel brought us a fruit bowl for our anniversary. It contained two strawberries, two oranges, and an apple. I opened it to discover the strawberries were rotten and molding. As previously mentioned, we had some trouble getting the gluten-free tea the first day, but things ran smoothly there after that. One morning when we went to the buffet breakfast, when we gave our room number, the hostess became a bit snide and said “Oh, the 600 floor [the gold floor]. Nice of you to come down and eat with the little people.” We didn’t appreciate that at all (we are the little people splurging on a special occasion!). For the most part we found the private concierge staff to be accommodating, however there were one or two women who were always very busy and slightly unfriendly. One morning someone else’s bill was slipped under our door by mistake. When we checked in, we were asked which newspaper summary we would like left at our door each morning. We received it only one day. The walls were a bit thin on our room and the first night we listened to the man next door throwing up and the next night listened to his diatribe on immigration.

The problems were tiny though, and overall, this was one of the most wonderful stays we have had anywhere. I felt pampered and well-cared for at this hotel and we were comfortable and relaxed nearly the entire time. The only thing I would wish for is being closer to the ocean so I could hear it from my room. Other

One of many neighboring secret beaches

than that, it was a nearly perfect stay. I would stay here again and again!

I’m a little stunned to return from our stay at the Fairmont Southampton in Bermuda and discover there is no daily free breakfast, afternoon tea, appetizer, and dessert being set out for me at home. There’s no private concierge down the hall. No heated outdoor pool and restaurant on the water just down the hill. … Read more →