I have a Facebook page for this blog at: www.facebook.com/PuttingItAllontheTable. Won’t you join me there? I post links to my new blog postings here, but there’s also lots of content that just goes there. Photos, links, etc. I’d love to interact with you there and would love to follow you as well!

I have a Facebook page for this blog at: www.facebook.com/PuttingItAllontheTable. Won’t you join me there? I post links to my new blog postings here, but there’s also lots of content that just goes there. Photos, links, etc. I’d love to interact with you there and would love to follow you as well!

One of the other hats I wear is as a textbook writer, and part of this job requires me to look at a wide variety of textbooks about lots of topics. I was reading part of a psychology textbook about memory and there was a fascinating section on flashbulb memories. These are very vivid memories of very dramatic events in our lives. For example, 9/11 is a flashbulb memory for many people.

This made me flip through my own file of flashbulb memories. It’s almost as if they are a stack of postcards in my mind. I can see each one clearly. They include our wedding, holding our babies for the first time, giving our first puppy a bath, leaving our old house for the last time, a night when we stood outside and could clearly see the Milky Way, and lots of travel memories. There are also sad or upsetting memories: falling through a dock holding my infant son, funerals, opening the front door to see my son holding a giant snake, and times when family members were injured. I try not to look at those snapshots very often!

It’s fascinating that our brains store these memories as still photos. And they are indeed very vivid to me, so much so that I can see a lot of detail in them.

What are your flashbulb memories?

One of the other hats I wear is as a textbook writer, and part of this job requires me to look at a wide variety of textbooks about lots of topics. I was reading part of a psychology textbook about memory and there was a fascinating section on flashbulb memories. These are very vivid memories … Read more →

We live in Buffalo. Insert your own joke about snow here. Therefore we have a lot of hats, mittens, gloves, scarves and other cold weather paraphernalia that floats around. For years we stuffed all of this in the hope chest in our front hall. It was a disaster. Nothing stayed together. And people always piled stuff on top of the chest, so we could never get in it! I tried keeping all of this winter weather stuff on a shelf in the coat closet. This was an even worse idea. Nothing stayed on the shelf and no one could see or reach anything.

My solution? A fabric mesh shoe organizer. I attached it to the inside of our coat closet door. Each pocket nicely holds together pairs of mittens/gloves and keeps hats and scarves easy to find. It’s also nice because you can assign each person their own row/column, so there’s no mixing up of belongings, making it a lot easier to find that pair of gloves you want when you’re heading out the door.

We live in Buffalo. Insert your own joke about snow here. Therefore we have a lot of hats, mittens, gloves, scarves and other cold weather paraphernalia that floats around. For years we stuffed all of this in the hope chest in our front hall. It was a disaster. Nothing stayed together. And people always piled … Read more →

I’ve won one storage battle. The kids’ bathroom has a little narrow closet I use to store medications and supplements, as well as first aid supplies and any potion or lotion you can name. I’m a bit of a hoarder when it comes to this stuff. While I do regularly purge and toss expired prescriptions, I have managed to gather a pretty large A to Z collection of vitamins and supplements as well as OTC meds. The ones that are taken regularly live in a drawer in the kitchen. The rest were in this closet. Yes, it was ugly. I am loathe to throw them out since we seem to cycle back through ailments pretty regularly. However, even though I KNOW I have, say, ginger, or stinging nettle, I’m usually damned if I can actually find it when needed. I’ve been saying for a long time that what I need is a supplement library, where I could store everything alphabetically, so that I could find it when I need it.

It occurred to me that although this closet is tiny, the

shelves are set in pretty far and there is room to put shelves on the backs of the doors. Genius moment. I Googled to find shelving.  Here is what I  ordered from DrawerSlides.com. It was hard to find shelving narrow enough for this tiny door, so these were a bit pricey. We ordered three of them so we could outfit the door from top to bottom.

We installed the shelving (simple job with a power drill) and I got to work. First it was time for another purge, so I sorted through everything and filled a garbage bag. Next I organized supplements and OTCs that we would be mostly likely to use on the door. This was a challenge since some of the shelves were not very wide. I had only three shelves that would hold big bottles.

I organized it in roughly alphabetical order so I can find things. The shelves are so narrow that there is just one row per shelf, so there’s no chance of anything getting lost. Then I organized what was didn’t fit on the door. Prescription meds went into one plastic bin. OTCs went in another. Big bottles stood on shelves. First aid supplies went into two smaller plastic boxes.

I also tackled the job of the top shelf of this closet which holds extra shampoo (people and dog!) as well as sunscreen and bug spray. I tossed a lot of almost empty bottles and used a plastic shoebox to put all the sunscreen together in one place so I can just pull it out instead of rummaging in the closet for it.

Total time for this project: about an hour. Total cost: $90

Satisfaction level: Priceless!

I’m so happy with how this worked out that I’m ordering more of this shelving to put inside a similar closet in the master bath.

Check your house for backs of doors where you can add some extra storage. I’ve done this in my pantry. The doors under your kitchen and bathroom sinks are usually a good spot to add some extra storage if you don’t have a closet like this!

I’ve won one storage battle. The kids’ bathroom has a little narrow closet I use to store medications and supplements, as well as first aid supplies and any potion or lotion you can name. I’m a bit of a hoarder when it comes to this stuff. While I do regularly purge and toss expired prescriptions, … Read more →

Lots of us ask that question, and often the answer ends up being no! Not this year. Check out this piece I wrote for Completely You that offers some great tips.

Lots of us ask that question, and often the answer ends up being no! Not this year. Check out this piece I wrote for Completely You that offers some great tips.

I wanted to share some articles I’ve written recently:

Should You Take Calcium Supplements?

This is something I’ve been wondering about myself a lot since there is conflicting research out there about what is the best thing to do. I was happy to get the answers!

Does Acupuncture Really Work?

It definitely works for me, but I was interested to hear what it is considered best for.

I wanted to share some articles I’ve written recently: Should You Take Calcium Supplements? This is something I’ve been wondering about myself a lot since there is conflicting research out there about what is the best thing to do. I was happy to get the answers! Does Acupuncture Really Work? It definitely works for me, … Read more →

I used to write a holiday letter each year and enclose it in our cards, letting everyone know what we’ve been up to, what the kids are doing, where we traveled, and what’s in store for the new year. I also always included a wallet size family photo. Several years ago I stopped sending the letter (and the photo), but kept on writing the letter. I still write one every year and keep all the letters together in a binder. Sound crazy?

I decided that anyone I really cared about already knew what was going on with our family and if I didn’t care about them, why was I sharing all the details of my life with them (after all, they could just read my blog!)? If they cared, they would be in touch enough to know what was happening. If not, what kind of connection did we really have anyhow?

I still like to write the letter because it’s a way for me personally to look back on the year. I like paging through the binder of yearly letters and remembering everything that happened in those years. It’s also a way to keep track of what happened when, which does tend to blur as the years pass!

Will I continue to write the letter once my kids have flown the coop? I don’t know, but I do expect that our traditions will change as our children create their own individual lives, and I look forward to the change it will bring into our lives.

I used to write a holiday letter each year and enclose it in our cards, letting everyone know what we’ve been up to, what the kids are doing, where we traveled, and what’s in store for the new year. I also always included a wallet size family photo. Several years ago I stopped sending the … Read more →

This past weekend we went to a 50th anniversary party for my aunt and uncle.  They were an example of “Teen Mom” back when it wasn’t cool. Three children, 7 grandchildren, and 3 great grandchildren later, as well some rocky unemployment times and the usual family ups and downs, they are still together. They are happy and comfortable. And they are headed to Vegas later this week to celebrate some more. It got me thinking about marriage.

I asked my aunt what the secret was to staying happily married so long. She said “learning to just shut your mouth sometimes.” I love that advice. My father, who has been married to my mother for 47 years, said sometimes it’s just easier to stay married than to get unmarried. I thought that was a bit pessimistic. I know another couple that had a 50th anniversary a few years ago who should have divorced long ago (and freely say they are not really “married” as in they do not have a husband-wife relationship). I’m not even sure why they had an anniversary party, other than to prove they hadn’t killed each other. That was an example to me of what not to do.

My grandparents were married over 65 years and although my grandmother wasn’t one for waxing nostalgic, I think that they were completely interdependent on each other in way that could never be unraveled. They loved and trusted each other completely.

My friend Alisa Bowman put her marriage back together when she was sure she was done (you can read about it on her blog and in her book: Project Happily Ever After). So, I think I have some good examples of what to do and what not to do and from watching all of these couples (and being married 23 years myself), and I’ve gleaned the following:

– I think it is wrong to say marriage is work. I think that it shouldn’t be work, it should be the underlying structure of your life. I don’t want to work at being married, just like I don’t work at being a mom. It’s just who I am and part of me. If it becomes work, I don’t think it’s happy anymore.

– It is always important to make sure you grow together. No one stays the same for 50 years but if you change in one direction and your spouse in another, you’re growing apart. The happily married couples I know went in directions together.

– Shut your mouth. I totally agree with my aunt on this one. I don’t think you gain much by saying things in anger. In fact, you often say things you don’t mean and which don’t get to the heart of the issue. Instead, I would rather stop talking, ruminate on what’s bothering me, and be able to crystallize it into something helpful, not hurtful.

– Be on the home team. Don’t criticize, denigrate, or purposely anger your spouse in front of others. You’re scoring a goal against your own team. I know a couple that seems to have an argument every time they are in the company of others and it’s shown me how hurtful it can be.

– Although I thought my father was being a bit rude with his comment about staying married being easier than getting divorced, he’s right and my past life as a family law attorney definitely affirms that.  Avoiding divorce is definitely worthwhile (although I think the pain of divorce is worth it if it means you come out much happier on the other side: some people should NOT be married to each other).

– Marriage should be about the future. Yes, there are problems and bumps in the road today and tomorrow, but it’s about building a lifetime together. I want to be the happily married gray-haired seniors who travel and sit on the beach together. I want to have a home filled with grandchildren and great grandchildren surrounding us when we are older. I want to experience it all together.

– While marriage is about the future, it’s also about what you do and say today that will affect the outcome of your future. And today is just one day. Today does not make or break everything. You get to have another day tomorrow in which you can be a better or more supportive spouse – and your spouse gets the chance to do that too.

What advice have you found useful about marriage?

This past weekend we went to a 50th anniversary party for my aunt and uncle.  They were an example of “Teen Mom” back when it wasn’t cool. Three children, 7 grandchildren, and 3 great grandchildren later, as well some rocky unemployment times and the usual family ups and downs, they are still together. They are … Read more →

I’ve had good news and bad news recently. The good news is that some health issues that had been plaguing me for a long time have finally been solved and eliminated. The bad news is that it turns out I am gluten and lactose intolerant. Now these two things are not the end of the world and it’s great to be able to heal myself by changing what I’m putting in my mouth. (And I have to credit my acupuncturist who is also trained in Oriental medicine for getting me to go gluten and lactose free, when my gastroenterologist was dismissive of my symptoms. She suggested it to me over and over for months and I finally wisened up and did what she suggested and got immediate relief.)

It was very hard to accept this initially, however. To think I can never buy a croissant, have dumplings at a Chinese restaurant, quickly grab a sandwich while on the go, eat fried chicken in a restaurant, eat Christmas cookies at a party, have a slice of birthday cake at someone’s house, enjoy a peanut cream donut from my favorite donut shop, sample things at bakeries, or have a pretzel at the mall was really hard to accept. I also felt like I had personally lost part of my heritage. Cooking and baking are important parts of who I am and my connection with my parents and grandparents. I cherish my grandmothers’ recipes and feel so in touch with them when I bake with them. Those recipes will never be quite the same for me now. This also makes it hard to eat at other people’s houses. I’ll have to explain in advance, be suspicious of how well they understand what gluten is (it’s in lots of things you wouldn’t expect and isn’t always called wheat or gluten), and find ways to eat without being rude, while keeping myself from getting sick.

I can handle certain dairy products with the help of Lactaid, so that’s a pretty easy work-around. However, there is no quick fix for gluten, other than avoiding it and substituting for it. So, I’m looking at this as an opportunity to spread my wings. I have been trying different gluten-free flours and I’ve also brought home lots of gluten free products. Some are horrible. Some are really good. Some are just ok. Cooking with gluten free flour mixes is a challenge. Recipes never turn out quite the way you are used to. I made blond brownies and they cooked much faster than they should. Same thing with Yorkshire pudding (family style popovers, essentially). And when I made a pie the crust was really hard to work with and burned a bit on the top. So, I’m learning.

Since I do not have an actual allergy (i.e. celiac disease), and since tiny amounts of gluten do not seem to bother me, I am hopeful that in time I will be able to eat some gluten again. But for now, it’s cold turkey.

There is tons and tons of info online about eating gluten free and I don’t pretend to be an expert yet. What I can do is share my experiences as I work through this new paradigm.

Here are some recent gluten free experiences:

Flours:

Bob’s Red Mill GF Flour: I initially wasn’t thrilled with this flour since it is yellowish, but it was the easiest to use in making pie crust – much less crumbly than the other brands. When I made spaetzle with it however, the dough was goopier than with other brands.

Cup4Cup Flour: This new flour was developed in the kitchens of Thomas Keller’s The French Laundry. I was not happy to discover that the ingredients include milk powder, but it does not seem to have enough lactose in it to bother me. This is a nice flour, very close to real flour in color and texture. I’m alternating between it and Bob’s as my flour of choice.

Kind Arthur GF Flour: This is a pretty good substitute but has a bit of a grainy feel to it.

Products:

Pamela’s Cookies: These are crumbly, but taste great. It’s a luxury to be able to buy packaged cookies now and this is a great treat for me.

Wegmans Store Brand Brownie Mix: HEAVEN. This was just like real brownies. Wegmans makes other baking mixes, but I would rather use my own recipes with modifications.

Wegmans GF pasta: LOVE these. They are made with corn, but I swear you wouldn’t know. My family ate it without complaint. I’ve stocked up on every style they have.

Conte’s Gnocchi: I did not notice a difference with this product at all. A definite winner!

Chex cereals: Rice and Corn Chex (and associated store brands) are GF and delicious.

Annie’s Chocolate and Vanilla Rabbits: These are like Teddy Grahams. My son can’t get enough of them. I think they are great when I just need a little bite of something. And it satisfies my chocolate craving.

Mi-Del Arrowroot Cookies: Love these. They are  like animal crackers.

Udi’s Bagels: The whole grain bagels are very close to real bagels. I did not care for the plain white ones.

Udi’s Bread: I’ve tried several kinds that were just horrid (Schar’s white bread is awful), but the whole grain version of Udi’s is fantastic. GF bread products are always better toasted, by the way.

Foods by George English Muffins: I have tried the No-Rye Rye and the plain. I love the plain – they are really like biscuits more than English muffins, but are fluffy and delish.

Tamari sauce: Most people don’t know soy sauce contains gluten. I can handle small amounts of it, but I use this instead of soy sauce now in cooking. Tamari is basically a stronger soy sauce and I prefer the taste.

Bob’s Red Mill GF oats: Most people don’t know oats and oatmeal have gluten  – usually small amounts from processing. I have eaten the occasional packet of prepared oatmeal without trouble, but I buy these for baking and for making my own oatmeal (which I prefer anyhow).

Wholly Wholesome Pie Shells: These are GF and vegan as well. I used them to make a chicken pot pie and everyone gave it the thumbs up.

GF breadcrumbs: These are convenient and work just as well as regular.

Eating Out: 

This is where things get tricky, because you have to ask what things are made with. When I go to a restaurant I first scope out the things I know are GF, like salads (no croutons! and oil and vinegar dressing is always safe), grilled meat (but you have to ask about sauces), and sides like steamed or grilled veggies, baked potatoes or French fries (fortunately I’m not bothered by things that are cooked in the same oil as things with gluten – French fries and onion rings are usually made in the same oil). Then I identify things on the menu that MIGHT be GF and I ask. At a recent dinner out there were 4 fish dishes that seemed to have no breading or flour based sauces. I asked if they were GF or could be made GF. The waitress was clueless and asked the chef. All 4 could be GF. Score! I now always look at a menu online before I go to be sure there will be something I can eat. And if we intend to go someplace special, I will call ahead and alert the chef so that there will be definite options for me.

We recently went to a local restaurant called Merge, that has GF, vegan (i.e. lactose free) and raw foods on the menu, all clearly marked. It was like heaven for me. I wish more restaurants would do that! It made it all so easy, and many of the dishes could be prepared with or without gluten or dairy if you specified.

We’ve identified several pizza places that have GF pizza near us. There is also a local bakery that only makes GF food. I’ve been in once and will be back. Their Italian bread was nearly identical to regular. Their donuts were an epic fail. Their coffee cake wasn’t bad. I’ll try more products the next time.

Another trick I have up my sleeve is to bring a GF roll with me if I know I am going to a place that serves burgers or hot dogs. I can order it without a bun and pop it onto mine.

Eating out now takes work and forces me to speak up and ask questions, but it’s definitely doable. It’s still hard to see others at the table enjoying mac and cheese, breaded cutlets, and gravies. But I remind myself I can make any of that GF at home.

Managing Family Meals

This has had surprisingly little impact on our family meals. I’ve been making lots of potatoes and rice and the GF products I’ve served (bread, tacos, recipes made with GF flour) have passed muster without a peep from anyone. I use GF flour in sauces, soups, and recipes. Lactose free milk goes into recipes as well without anyone noticing at all. It is surprisingly easy to work around this at home. Baking is a bigger challenge, however. My GF apple pie was ok, but I need to work on my pie crust some more. And I have yet to try out a lot of my family baking recipes, which will likely need tweaking.

Searching for

What I am desperately still looking for includes:

GF puff pastry

GF wonton wrappers (so I can make my own potstickers and dumplings and wonton soup)

GF filo dough

GF croissants

good GF donuts

GF egg noodles

GF hot pretzels

Lactose Free Products:

I’m still trying to work out what works for me and doesn’t. Lactose-free milk has become a staple in my cooking and on my cereal. It is slightly sweeter than regular milk. Lactose free yogurt does not work for me for some reason. I can eat small amounts of hard cheeses. Lactose free American cheese works well for me. I’ve also sampled every frozen dessert option my store has that is LF. The coconut milk ice cream has the best texture, but I can’t get past the coconut taste. I did not like the rice milk ice cream or the soy milk ice cream. The almond milk ice cream is pretty good, but it all does have an almond flavor. None of it is perfect. So far I have been ok using small amounts of sour cream in cooking. Butter does not bother me, but we use a lot of Olivio instead. And I’ve always cooked with olive oil when possible, instead of butter.

Moving Forward

I will be cooking with GF flours and products from now on, but I don’t anticipate this having much of an impact on my blogging. There are many, many foods that don’t involve gluten in any way, and if I do make a GF substitute in a recipe, I’ll tell you. I will still be sharing my love of cooking and baking with you.

If you are GF or LF I would love to hear from you!

 

I’ve had good news and bad news recently. The good news is that some health issues that had been plaguing me for a long time have finally been solved and eliminated. The bad news is that it turns out I am gluten and lactose intolerant. Now these two things are not the end of the … Read more →

My office needs a serious upgrade. I’m not talking about a new desk, chair, or storage. I’m even happy with the paint on the walls (plum). No, I am talking office supplies. I’ve had it with boring note pads, black staplers, silver paper clips, yellow post-its, and Bic pens (no offense Mr. Bic). However, I am finding it to be a bit challenging to find truly fun items. And by fun, I almost always mean polka dot. Or pink. Or purple. Something cheery and happy.  I found a polka dot accordion folder that I am in love with and some cute notebooks. But I need more, more, more.  I’ve scoured local stores.  Someone needs to start an online store that only sells super cute office supplies. There are some fun things at SeeJaneWork.com, but nothing I have to have. SortingWithStyle.com also has some cute things, but again, nothing I bought (their mod dots file folders did catch my eye).

 

My office needs a serious upgrade. I’m not talking about a new desk, chair, or storage. I’m even happy with the paint on the walls (plum). No, I am talking office supplies. I’ve had it with boring note pads, black staplers, silver paper clips, yellow post-its, and Bic pens (no offense Mr. Bic). However, I … Read more →