10 Things Martha is Wrong About

Posted by Brette in Food | Life

Recently I posted about 10 Things I’ve Learned from Martha. I really have learned an amazing amount in the my year of Martha. However, I’ve also found that Martha is just wrong about some things.

1. Unsalted butter is not a must in baking. If you use salted butter, you just reduce or eliminate salt. Salted butter is not the end of the world.

2. You don’t need a P-Touch. Martha is mad about this label maker and puts the little printed labels on everything, even linen closet shelves. I’m all for organization, but this is just too crazy for me. I’m fine with a handwritten sticker if I need a label.

3. Crafting is not always easy if you have the right tools. Ok, I’ll agree it is easiER if you have the right tools, but there are some things I just cannot get my hands to do, no matter what tool I’m using.

4. Dogs should not wear Halloween costumes. They especially should not wear homemade Halloween costumes that require hours of work. They really don’t appreciate it. And it’s not like they can go trick or treating and bring home dog food.

5. Storing your extra china on a metal rack in the basement is possibly the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of. Martha keeps hers this way and touts it as the best way to store it. I don’t have to time to go dust my china. I like to keep it put away so I can just get it out and have it be clean and ready to go.

6. Gardening is not a must. I love tomatoes fresh from the vine, but I’d much rather shop at the farm stand and have free time not spent weeding. If I had an entire staff of gardeners, I would probably turn my backyard into a farm like Martha, but it’s not an option.

7. Green juice is disgusting. There, I said it. Martha is mad about this green vegetable juice she makes fresh each morning with her Mini Cooper sized juicer.   I’m happy to just eat vegetables instead.

8. Sleep is not boring. Martha says she sleeps maybe five hours a night because she finds it boring. I love sleep. I love waking up on weekend mornings and going back to sleep because I don’t have to get up. I even love a nice 30 minute nap once in a while.

9. I do not need a Xyron machine – a $100 crafting machine that puts adhesive on things for you. I know how to use a glue stick.

10. I still refuse to sift flour when I bake. She can’t make me do it!! I make it all in one bowl – cream the butter and sugar then dump in the dry ingredients. I’ve never had a problem with it. Sorry, Martha.

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